How to Choose an Egg Donor as a Gay Couple in Texas

Choosing an egg donor is one of the most significant — and sometimes overwhelming — steps in the surrogacy journey for gay couples. You're selecting the person who will contribute half of your child's genetic material, and there are more options than you might expect. Here's what you need to know.

Where to find egg donors

Fertility clinic donor programs

Most large fertility clinics in Texas maintain their own pool of pre-screened egg donors. This can simplify the process since your clinic manages both the donor and the IVF cycle. However, the selection may be smaller than independent agencies.

Independent egg donor agencies

Agencies specialize in recruiting and screening donors, often with larger and more diverse databases. They handle the matching process and coordinate with your fertility clinic. Some agencies specifically cater to LGBT+ intended parents and understand the unique considerations involved.

Egg banks (frozen eggs)

Egg banks sell pre-retrieved, frozen eggs from screened donors. This is typically faster and more affordable ($5,000–$8,000 compared to $10,000–$15,000 for a fresh cycle). The trade-off is that you generally get fewer eggs and slightly lower success rates, though the gap has narrowed significantly with vitrification technology.

Known donors

Some gay couples ask a friend or family member to donate eggs. This can create a meaningful connection but requires careful legal documentation and independent counsel for the donor. In Texas, a known-donor agreement is essential to ensure the donor has no parental rights.

Selection criteria to consider

• Physical characteristics — Many couples look for traits that resemble the non-genetic father, so the child looks like both parents. Donor profiles include height, weight, hair color, eye color, and ethnicity.
• Medical and genetic screening — All reputable programs require extensive medical and genetic screening. Review the donor's family medical history carefully, and ask about carrier screening for common genetic conditions.
• Educational and personal background — Profiles typically include the donor's education, occupation, hobbies, and a personal essay. Some couples value these details; others focus primarily on health and physical traits.
• Proven vs. first-time donors — A "proven" donor has successfully donated before with a known number of eggs retrieved and resulting pregnancies. First-time donors are typically less expensive but have no track record.
• Willingness for future contact — Some donors are open to being contacted by donor-conceived children when they reach adulthood. If this matters to you, ask about the donor's preferences.

Fresh vs. frozen eggs

This choice involves trade-offs in cost, timing, and success rates:

• Fresh eggs — Higher success rates (typically 50–65% per transfer), more eggs per cycle, but more expensive and requires syncing the donor's cycle with your timeline. Cost: $10,000–$15,000 for the donor plus medications.
• Frozen eggs — More affordable ($5,000–$8,000), no scheduling delays, but you typically receive a set (6–8 eggs) with slightly lower success rates. Modern vitrification has improved frozen-egg outcomes dramatically.

For gay couples who want to create embryos from both partners (the split-cycle approach), a fresh donor cycle typically yields enough eggs to split between both sperm sources.

The emotional side of choosing a donor

Many gay couples say donor selection feels unexpectedly emotional. You're making choices that will shape what your child looks like and part of their genetic identity. It's common to feel:

• Overwhelmed by the number of options
• Pressure to find the "perfect" donor
• Guilt about choosing based on physical traits
• Disagreement between partners about priorities

These feelings are completely normal. A reproductive psychologist can help you and your partner work through them. Remember: you're not looking for a perfect person — you're looking for a healthy donor who feels like a good fit for your family.

Texas fertility clinics for LGBTQ+ families

Texas has several fertility clinics that specialize in — or have extensive experience with — LGBTQ+ family building:

• Houston — Houston Fertility Center, CCRM Houston, and Texas Fertility Center (The Woodlands location)
• Dallas — Dallas IVF, CCRM Dallas, and Fertility Specialists of Texas
• Austin — Texas Fertility Center and Austin Fertility Institute
• San Antonio — Fertility Center of San Antonio

When choosing a clinic, ask specifically about their experience with gay intended parents and whether their team has completed LGBTQ+ cultural competency training.

Bottom line

Choosing an egg donor is a big decision, but it doesn't have to be an agonizing one. Start with your must-haves (health screening, physical traits, budget), then let your instincts guide you. Your surrogacy agency and fertility clinic can walk you through the process step by step.