Planning a Sibling Journey: Having a Second Child Through Surrogacy

Your first surrogacy journey was life-changing. Now you're thinking about doing it again — giving your child a sibling and expanding your family. A second surrogacy journey (often called a "sibling journey") is typically smoother than the first, but there are important decisions and logistics to plan for.

Switching genetic fathers

For many gay couples, the sibling journey is the chance for the other partner to be the genetic father. This gives both dads a biological connection to at least one of their children — something many couples plan for from the very beginning.

If you planned ahead during your first egg donor cycle and created embryos from both partners, you may already have frozen embryos from the second father ready to go. If not, you'll need a new egg donor cycle or frozen egg purchase.

Some couples choose to use the same genetic father for both children, either because of medical considerations, a strong preference, or because they have high-quality frozen embryos remaining from the first cycle. There's no wrong choice.

Using frozen embryos from your first cycle

If you created extra embryos during your first journey, using them for a sibling is the most cost-effective and time-efficient approach:

• Cost savings: $30,000–$50,000 — You skip the egg donor fees, egg retrieval, and full IVF cycle. You only pay for embryo thawing, transfer, and medications.
• Time savings: 3–6 months — No donor matching, no egg retrieval coordination, no embryo creation. You go straight to matching with a surrogate and embryo transfer.
• Genetic siblings — If you use embryos created from the same sperm and egg donor, your children will be full genetic siblings.

Frozen embryos can be stored indefinitely without degradation. Whether it's been one year or ten years since your first cycle, those embryos are just as viable.

Same surrogate vs. new surrogate

Many intended parents dream of working with the same surrogate again. There are real advantages:

• You already have an established, trusting relationship
• She knows your preferences and communication style
• The legal process is familiar to everyone
• Your children share the same birth story origin

However, your surrogate may not be available or willing to carry again. She may have completed her own family, moved, or simply feel done with surrogacy. If so, your agency will match you with a new surrogate — and second-time intended parents are often highly sought after by surrogates because of their experience and realistic expectations.

If you do work with a new surrogate, expect the matching and relationship-building process to take 2–4 months. Your agency experience makes this faster and more focused than the first time.

Timeline and logistics with a toddler

Most gay couples start their sibling journey when their first child is 1–3 years old. Here's a realistic timeline:

1. Agency re-engagement and surrogate matching — 1–3 months
2. Legal agreements — 1–2 months
3. Medical clearance and embryo transfer — 1–2 months
4. Pregnancy — 9 months

Total: roughly 12–16 months from start to delivery, compared to 18–24 months for a first journey.

The biggest logistical challenge is managing a toddler while navigating the surrogacy process. Practical tips from experienced dads:

• Split responsibilities — One partner takes the lead on surrogacy logistics while the other handles more of the day-to-day parenting.
• Involve your child — Age-appropriate conversations about a new sibling help with the transition. Many families read children's books about surrogacy.
• Line up extra help — Grandparents, friends, or a night nurse for the first few weeks after the new baby arrives.
• Lower your standards — You know what matters now. The second time around, most parents are more relaxed about the details.

Texas legal note: new PBO needed

Even if you used the same agency, attorney, and surrogate, you need a new gestational agreement and new pre-birth parentage order for each pregnancy. This is especially important if you've switched genetic fathers — the new PBO must reflect the correct genetic parent.

The good news is that your attorney has done this before for you, and the second time is faster and more routine. Many attorneys offer a reduced rate for returning clients.

Cost of a sibling journey

Expect to spend $80,000–$130,000 for a sibling journey, depending on whether you have frozen embryos and your surrogate choice:

• With frozen embryos and a returning surrogate: $80,000–$100,000
• With frozen embryos and a new surrogate: $90,000–$110,000
• With a new egg donor cycle and new surrogate: $110,000–$130,000+

The biggest savings come from using frozen embryos, which eliminates the egg donor and full IVF cycle costs.

Bottom line

A sibling journey is one of the most rewarding decisions gay dads make. You're experienced, you know what to expect, and your growing family is proof that the first journey was worth every step. Start by checking on your frozen embryos, reconnecting with your agency, and talking with your partner about the genetic father decision — the rest will fall into place.